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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I'm reading Debbie Ford's 'Why Good People do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy.' While I don't agree with every point she makes, I have been discovering some new insights into my own motives as well as the motives of others. It's an interesting analysis of what drives us to do things that go against our highers self and our knowledge of what is right. Even more importantly it shows us that in the terrible actions of those around us their is a world of hurt. Here's an excerpt:

"Desperately seeking to belong, we tried tirelessly to turn ourselves into anything we thought would be desirable to our families, friends, classmates, or other external influences that we wanted to be a part of. Without a second thought, we gave up our light, we gave up our innocence, we gave up our deepest truth, and we covered up our authentic expression. In a fight to hold on to the love that we needed, we withdrew from that which is most sacred; we ventured outside our authentic desires, and we tried to acheive the impossible: to fit in, to be approved of, to be accepted, and to be loved by those we deemed worthy of our love and affection. Voila the successful birth of our false self. Our shame and fear convince us to wear an infinite number of masks to hide behind. Because we lack the understanding that not only we but our dear friends and family all possess inner demons, we deny those parts of ourselves and begin the tireless process of creating personas--costumes so to speak--to conceal all of who we really are. ..The problem with this, of course, is that eventually we lose sight of not just of our darkness but our light as well." pg 87

Today I had my first phone meeting with my boss. We talk once a week, at least for the first few months. Not only do we go over what's going on in the office and address any concerns, but Delese works with me to define goals for the year and work towards them. Professional development really. I have a lot of respect for her and I feel I can tell her anything which is great. After our phone call I had a much clearer idea of where to go and what do and am more energized to tackle some of our big things. We have a strategic planning meeting coming up. It's a two day affair but after that we will have a better idea of what our specific goals are in terms of volunteers, client services, community partnerships and infrastructure. Oy vey! I have a couple of more days in the office and then I'll be off. Goal for the week: finish to-do list!

Quote: When you're living in poverty, any path you take in life it seems like you're not going to make it. That's why the violence is all like it is. People don't live for tomorrow. They live for today.

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