when the lights go down

So this morning I finally made it BOMF and ran!!
I was not at all as energetic and ready to go this morning. Plus I had to work last night and tonight and now that our store is open one more hour longer its brutal. But no excuses! I was determined.
I got there on time and met everyone and it was lovely. I struggled on the running but I was able to met one of the men from the shelter who was also struggling and hopefully we will push each other. I also met some other cool cats, one this woman who works in the residence hall at LaSalle and is getting ready to go on semester at sea and some students from St.Joes. I really enjoyed myself but on the subway back I had this unsettling feeling. Like I could've pushed harder and I'm determined now more than ever to keep working till I can make it to a half marathon. I like that feeling, it keeps me from being too complacent. As I was coming home and unlocking my door, I realized that some of the people that I ran with don't have the luxury. And this is why I run, I told myself.

We finished at 6:30 and I got home at like 7:15. I made my favorite meal for lunch today, macarooni and cheese and sweet peas. I have a giant container of it and already devoured half of it. I still ended up getting to work on time although I'm used to being here about 30 minutes before we open so I can enjoy the silence.

I also got a free ride on the subway! Yesterday I had to gather a whole handful of nickles to get a subway token to work. I thought I had enough but when I got there I was twenty cents short. The man let me go through but he looked at me sternly and said 'you owe me twenty cents.' Well I guess he didn't expect me to pay him back because when I came back from running this morning I gave him ten cents and said that's all I have right now but when I come back to go to work I'll give you the rest. He looked confused and really surprised. He was even more shocked when I came back with a quarter for him. He was smiling really huge and said you're so honest and let me go through for free.
It made me feel really good because this guy is usually such a grump and I hope that it gives him a little more hope in humanity and the inherent good in all people. You have to think of the people that will come after you and I hope he's able to pass that faith forward.
You know with BOMF they sent us some statistics and out of their numbers 96% of the runners said they're trust people more since joining BOMF has increased, and that's what it's all about. Imagine what we could all do if we just trusted each other enough to work together.

So the economy...the numbers in our office have been picking and people are in so much more despair. Yesterday was a particularly challenging day. But we've been having some great successes. One of our clients got a job! and two others have recently gotten interviews!! Maybe I'm too positive to be down in the dumps. I do get weepy eyed at times and I know that something wonderful will pop up in all of this. Here is an interesting article though on issues of North Philadelphia http://www.philly.com/philly/news/homepage/20081130_Flashes_of_reality_in_N__Phila_.html?referrer=facebook

For a little inspiration, I want to share this poem I found this weekend,

I've journeyed far upon this earth
What places I have been
I've traveled down this earthly road
time and time again

Crossed deserts, barren without hope
Through quicksand, hot with shame
Traveled into caves of fear
Through hatreds burning flame

Climbed up Karmic mountains
Felt age's lava flow
Crawled into waves of solitude
With nowhere else to go
Swam in silver pools
Where ripples touched my soul
And voices of my spirit cried
I long to make you whole

Put down age-old burdens
Stood on mountain high
Heart open, vulnerable
My spirit dared to fly

Journeys now on different course
Divinvely led by Grace
Spirit dancing joyfully
Warm sunlight on my face

Ah, journey, how I thank you
For my soul has always known
That the traveling would one day bring
The joy of coming home

Lynne Newman