running past the madness

Do you ever have those weeks where you feel like you're getting smooshed or compressed in some sort of large awkward smooshing machine...really well I do!

The next few weeks seem to be a neverending surge of activities. Today I have off in honor of President's Day, whatever that means. But then the rest of this week will be spent preparing for our leadership team retreat this weekend. Tomorrow half of the day will be spent planning a conference workshop that I will help facilitate next weekend. And then Thursday our office will be hosting our organization's CEO.

I hate to laud these things as 'oh look at my busy week. I'm so busy and awesome. Busy me' but it just feels like a lot and really, come on, everyone loves to feel important. And then there is that upcoming week in DC for our next training/meeting/shinding/mushing over my beloved coworkers. I have been juggling these feelings of feeling like a failure, feeling overwhelmed, feeling inspired and feeling incredibly energized. My body also yearns to rest, just to take a breather and not feel the constant pushing and yearning of my desire to do something. But then I really don't have this acheiver yearning and I have no desire to do anything but merely to learn and be and more importantly be of service.

My apartment is a disaster zone ready to implode. But I'm treating it like Wall Street. The constant mess will at some moment explode within itself and then ,of course, the government will bail me out. Why be responsible when you can be dependent!

I love the work I do yet it keeps me in a state of questioning, altertness, awareness and frustration. Never a sense of peace. The closest I get is contemplation which is really the quiet before the storm. Am I rambling.

So have I learned anything recently. Let me enlighten you:

Pride comes before the fall

You don't really know anything you think you know

There is always work to be done

No man is an island, we must function as teams to get things done

Cherry coke is adictive, in the worst possible most ungodly way

Idealism is nice although pragmatisim is necessary in order to get things done

There is usually a path to the solution you're in search of.