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Saturday, October 18, 2008

go the distance

I took the day off at Lush. It was much needed and I'm excited about the long day of possibilities.
That's what it feels like, I work all the time now and all of time is scheduled and I spend 12 hours a day looking for what other people need. This morning I was taken back by the feeling of possibility and openness in my day.
I'm called back to the days of my earlier posts where I tried to decipher why it is that I serve. I was reading this in the call of service and it brought me to the thought:

The longer she looked into the matter,however -- the closer she looked at her own life -- the more she realized that her burnout had its own distinctive history and character...The call of service is a call to a new chapter of life -- its earlier story, its prior chapters, with their achievements and losses, will surely come to bear on what happens in the future, though each person's idealism can have its own surprising victories, some of them achieved against the great odds of a particular past. "My whole life before I started the service work was a long stretch of burnout," a student told me, offering a much-needed ironic perspective on the subject. When we single out the low spells of volunteers, we forget that for others...life itself may be a sadder story than the passing low points that are called burnout. Youthful activists are often able to use such low points to become more realistic and reflective and, in the long run, sturdier in the community service work they usually continued doing.

You know when people run races how theirs that gun shot that goes off. I think in all of our lives we have a gun shot moment. Something that starts us off running and it may take a while into the race before we realize why we're running or what exactly we're running to. I think in a much deeper way my service has begin to tap into a lingering question of need that lies deep within the character of my life. Spending days working so hard to get people what they need makes you start to realize that needs are a part of the human experience, and they are very much apart of yours. What if you search and you search and it can't be found, where do you go...

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