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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

when the sun shines again

I am so looking forward to a vacation of sorts. Time to be away to just rest, it'll be nice.

I've been having these really fruitful one on ones with my volunteers and yesterday I had a very long conversation with one of my volunteers about life. We discussed our generation and the idea of connection. And also at which point you learn to leave the place your from and come to the place you are. I feel it happens in time. Time, it really is the answer to everything. It was off topic yet quite refreshing.
I passed by this book in the store yesterday called Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connections. I live alone. I thought it would be wonderful and in ways it is but I hope next year I can live with some others. It would feel nice to be apart of something, in a home, abiding by a set of rules, all of that. I come home and there is nothing I want more than to have someone there that I can just share with, someone that I can be shared with (?) and just a good relationship. In time, everything comes when it comes and you just have to prepare yourself. I think I am where I need to be right now.
I had a wonderful moment this afternoon, when I client came in and thanked us for helping him find a job. It was a good moment. A time to sit back and say, okay so that's what I do. It feels good.
The economy, it sucks. What can you say about that. I've been reading a lot of books on the economy lately to get a better understanding of all this mumbo jumbo that's going on. As much of all is this is a bum in the rug, the challenges have been a really wonderful learning experience. Knowing what the needs of a community and people are in, our vulnerabilities, understanding the affect on the nonprofit sector, it's all been very helpful.
I've also realized in all of this economic disaster how much some stuff just doesn't make sense. Our rules, our rationalizations. Does anyone really know what they're doing. It's like we're throwing darts in the dark, hoping to hit something and in the end just making a lot of harmful misses.
Life is a game of mind over matter. I learned that when I was attempting to run that 8k. I was able to go so much farther than I thought I could. I really had no idea what I was capable of yet I kept holding myself back. Then when I just let go of my own limitations, there were my possibilities.
I feel like I've been having that conversation with a lot of my volutneers. They all have these glaring insecurities, but I look at them and there are so many things they do well and so many things they have already accomplished.
Why are we so blind. I guess it's better that way, but it helps when someone else can see what you can't. It's even more helpful when they let you in on it.

Song: Where we gonna go from here by Matt Kearney

Quote: Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create. Albert Einstein

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