When the lights went out in Philly

So last night was unbelievably exciting. My friend Josh called me to let me know that the Phillies were two outs from winning the world series and I immediately ran from the warm homely space of the 34th street Starbucks into the crisp night air of Philadelphia. I was met by a chorus of one then two, then four then uncountable yells nd cheers spilling from the buildings around me. Cars and Taxis raced by honking their horns fiercely and waving rad ball caps with the now well known white stiched P. The Phillies had won the world series.

Momentum has been building in this city long before the world turned its eyes to the birthplace of our nation. I remember leaving work one night, going to the subway and seeing every cart filled with Phillies fans, red caps. It was then that I realized how historical and inspirational this moment was. I have never felt so grateful to be apart of something.

Since I've come to this city, I have been faced with the worn desolate and downtrodden of the city. I have come to love this city even more though even after being faced with the maze of social services that plague every large city. There is something about Philadelphia that tugs at your heart and woes you into a courtship. It has it's dark side but it has its triumph and it doesn't claim to be anything more than a city that won't give up and won't be put down. And you believe in it against all odds.

Last night was needed and much deserved. While I don't claim to be a fan, I haven't steadily endured the years of heartbreaking defeat like many of the fans here, I am very much in love with this city and excited about the win that has pulled this city into a new hope.

Almost symbolically today was the first day this week where the sun shone brightly and the morning air was at peace. Everyone in this city loves this team and it is exciting to see the unity that is emerging after the win.

Last night was amazing and it was hard to resist staying out in the night air embracing the cheers and high fives and seeing the pure excitement on the cold faces passing by.

Now the city awaits the Friday parade. Everyone needs this once in a while, a feeling of triumph joy and victory. I love Philadelphia!

Quote: "We're losers no more. The organziation, we're winners. Nobody can take that away from the city of Philadelphia, and nobody can take that away from us." First Baseman Ryan Howard

NYTimes artcile: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/31/sports/baseball/31philadelphia.html?hp

Here I am

I have found it necessary to attempt to be fully present.
Not just in my situations but here in Philly and this experience. I'm not really sure what that means but it occured to me today that here I am and here is where I will be.

Our volunteer is working on this wonderful project in her downtime, it's so gorgeous
The view from the large window in one of the rooms in our office

Hi, I have to wear thirty shirts to go outside

Why I love coming to work early in the moring, the gorgeous sun behind large tree.

I have a ton of restless energy. It's one of those days where there are things to be done but so many of them it is unclear of where to start. Oh I just thought of something I can do. Oh and I just got a call from my boss reminding me to turn in my timesheets, I think I haven't turned them in since September so there's something...

In the meantime here are some pictures from my office this morning:

G'Moring!

So this morning I was met with one of the coldest, dreariest days I have ever encountered. And tonight they're expecting snow showers. SNOW SHOWERS!

Morning got started off with a bang because we had a really good meeting with one of the organizations in our building about how we could collaborate. They're a couple of volunteers training right now and its pretty calm in the office. I have to go to work tonight which I am not very excited about. I'm not really interested in anything that doesn't include the words soup or hot chocolate.

Our client numbers are steadily increasing. I was working with a client yesterday who was looking for housekeeping jobs. The issue, people aren't spending extravagant amounts of money, which means they probably aren't going to hotels which means a lot of people in this city are being put out of work with very few if any skills that can be easily transferred to other types of work. I had a really interesting discussion with my friend Priya last night about what is best for the economy, that being whether people should spend money or whether they should not. I am seeing the effects of people not spending like they used to, entry level job cuts and less openings for temporary jobs as well. The low income seem to be the least involved but the most affected by these unstable shifts in the economy. So I don't think people should stop spending completely, but our extravagance in times when people in our country can barely meet their needs seems out of place as well.

This week I have been in an inner debate about the role of our nonprofit sector in the overall health of our country and communities. Especially in times like these when the real solution seems to be a complete restructuring of the way we do things rather than just bandaging up the system we do have and the people who get pulled through it. But there are people that need help now who could care less about politics or big picture things. Or should I say don't have the privilege of thinking that way.

Okay back to work, I actually have things I need to get done and if I stay focused this actually might be a productive day.

Pictures...

Our volunteers preparing for 'client survivor' I had to be the mean shelter lady

In DC at our meeting, talking about how wonderful NSP is

Volunteers at our New Volunteer training on Sunday learning about making a budget on a low-income

Dysfunctional Hierarchy

Our Director of Program Tony telling us about program development and assessments, oh my!

Cannon and Fops!

Enjoying our awesomeness at the meeting

Josh

The girls after dinner

Kanlaya (sp?) yummy Thai place

Breakfast! We got to spend three days in these wonderful law firm with wonderful food, all donated

Waiting outside union station for the rest of the group

Ben's "Birthday"

...from DC and of our volunteers!

birds without wings

If there was any week to treat mess ups/failures like learning opportunities, this is the week.
I feel like the ends of my life slowly unraveled. Although when I look at the times similar to this, patterns in my behavior emerge:
1. Avoidance of responsibility
2. Lack of accountability
3. Not planning ahead
4. Lack of follow through.

So yeah, it would be tedious and almost masochistic to go through the details of the week but the end results were having to pay $300 to use our office space for our all day training yesterday, getting written up at Lush for not having anyone to cover my shift, not taking my comp day when I was supposed to take my comp day and well let's just end it at that.

These weeks are always the most fun, but yes learning experiences. Opportunities to confront the pitfalls in my temperament and work towards working through them or providing safety nets for myself. I just would like a nice vacation away from everything so I can get my head screwed back on. But alas...

So DC was AWESOME !! It was a really great trip and really gave me the energy to hit the road. Ofcourse being out of town for three days didn't help my disorganization at all but I really enjoyed being away. I love my organization and the people I work with, it can't be said enough. There was some challenging talk about the economy and how it will affect our organization and the world of philanthropy over all. It was one of those long, everyone is quiet in the room conversations that involves some deep emotion.
Life is a challenge, you gotta hit the road running..

Our office had the all day training yesterday. It went well although our vols starting getting really tired towards the end of the day. It was def. a challenge to keep the energy up but the conversations were really great.

Our office is actually getting into a rythym which means I have a more structured work week. I'm still having a scatterbrained day, I forgot my cellphone and my landlords key to the building but what can you do.

Song: philosophers stone by Van Morrison

go the distance

I took the day off at Lush. It was much needed and I'm excited about the long day of possibilities.
That's what it feels like, I work all the time now and all of time is scheduled and I spend 12 hours a day looking for what other people need. This morning I was taken back by the feeling of possibility and openness in my day.
I'm called back to the days of my earlier posts where I tried to decipher why it is that I serve. I was reading this in the call of service and it brought me to the thought:

The longer she looked into the matter,however -- the closer she looked at her own life -- the more she realized that her burnout had its own distinctive history and character...The call of service is a call to a new chapter of life -- its earlier story, its prior chapters, with their achievements and losses, will surely come to bear on what happens in the future, though each person's idealism can have its own surprising victories, some of them achieved against the great odds of a particular past. "My whole life before I started the service work was a long stretch of burnout," a student told me, offering a much-needed ironic perspective on the subject. When we single out the low spells of volunteers, we forget that for others...life itself may be a sadder story than the passing low points that are called burnout. Youthful activists are often able to use such low points to become more realistic and reflective and, in the long run, sturdier in the community service work they usually continued doing.

You know when people run races how theirs that gun shot that goes off. I think in all of our lives we have a gun shot moment. Something that starts us off running and it may take a while into the race before we realize why we're running or what exactly we're running to. I think in a much deeper way my service has begin to tap into a lingering question of need that lies deep within the character of my life. Spending days working so hard to get people what they need makes you start to realize that needs are a part of the human experience, and they are very much apart of yours. What if you search and you search and it can't be found, where do you go...